The Hardest Job Ever

I have to say that being a parent/mother is THE hardest job ever! I am not saying this because kids can be huge balls of energy or because it costs a lot of money or because there are times I want to pull my hair out. I am saying this because there is not a day, minute, second that goes by that I do not worry about my children. Some might say I am a worry wart but with how the media is today and how everything is so publicized it is really hard not to worry. I don't doubt that bad things were happening back in the day, you just didn't hear about it as much as you do these days. Reporters are so quick to get stories out that some don't even wait for the right information. It seems like everyday there is something going on in the news and it is not someone saving a cat in a tree or finding the cure for cancer. It typically has something to do with someone missing, a school massacre, something involving guns, break ins, bank robberies, etc. It is always negative. It is hard to put that in the back of your mind when raising children. For me, I worry about their protection ALL the time. I don't want to say that all of that stops us from living our lives and staying in doors all day long but, I do think about what could happen when we are out. I am always cautious and I continuously look over my shoulder. In my previous post Home school I talk about the possibility of home schooling our kids. We have come to the decision that we will not be going this route and will be putting our kids into the public school system come Kindergarten. I am choosing this option even with a heavy heart and not knowing yet if this is the best option for our kids. I doubt myself with both options. My main reasoning for homeschooling is due to the fact that I am terrified I am going to get that call one day or even worse see it happening on the news that my child's school has just been put on lock down due to a sick individual who has come there with a gun. What if I sent my child to school that day and that was the last day I was ever going to see them. I would be devastated. I then worry that with homeschooling they will be missing out on something, that something I cannot put my finger on it but there is something that is holding me back from this option. I don't know if I am scared that they won't get the social aspect of it or the fact that Elementary school was so much fun for me and I want them to have that experience. I just don't want to make the wrong decision. That is probably the hardest part about this job. The decision making is crucial!

I think that the best thing a parent can do to lesson the worry is to have faith. Have faith in Jesus. Faith that Jesus has a plan. I pray every night that I get to have one more day with my kids. I pray that they will be safe in his arms at night while they sleep and during the day while they are learning to live in this hateful dirty world. I don't obviously ever want this to happen but I do believe that if something does happen to anyone of us then it was our time to go. I just never want it to happen.

Becoming a mother has undoubtedly been the best thing that has EVER happened to me. My kids have been an absolute joy and blessing in my life. I wake every morning so happy to see their smiling faces. If I could hug them and kiss them all day long I would. I enjoy getting to experience things with them. I love seeing the light in their eyes and seeing how innocent life is at that age. I just wish the rest of the world was like this. If I had the chance to do this 100x over I totally would. Like I said in the beginning of this post, the huge balls of energy that my kids are, the temper tantrums that they may throw, the financial hardships that come with having kids, etc...all of that is easy peasy. The sickening worry feeling that I have in my gut everyday, that is the hard part. Wondering if they are going to be okay as soon as they are out of my sight, that is hard part. Making the best decisions that will lead to happiness, success, health, safety, etc....that is the hard part.