Pressing the "Who Cares" button

For those of you who have facebook, you are probably very familiar with the "like" button. Anytime someone posts a status, picture, or comment that you either agree with or you like it, you click the "like" button. What is funny is when people post a status that maybe sad or something they may be going through that is difficult or what not, people will "like" it. What about sad and devastating news is likable? Anyways, that is just my example of where I am about to go...

One might consider me a facebookaholic. I am not one to post a lot of stuff about what I am doing but I do use it as a way to keep in touch with family and friends. I like to upload pictures of my kids so that family can see what we have been up too. My biggest pet peeve about the usages of facebook and many by grown adults (some whom are much older then me) might I add. I cannot stand when people post what they are doing every minute of the day. It drives me nuts. I can see updating your status once a day but that even may be a bit excessive. Seriously people, do you want everyone knowing what you are doing every second of every day? Do you really not have any privacy about your life? Also, I know that not everyone on peoples friends list are really their friends. I have had to go through my friends and delete. What is the point of being friends with someone who you don't even speak with? I hate getting on and seeing at least five different status changes within one single scroll from the same person. Do you not have a life that you really feel the need to have to update facebook? I mean these people must be thinking in their heads right after they wash dishes or take a crap, that they need to hurry up and post it on facebook. At this point there really needs to be a "Who the Hell Cares" button.

Facebook has made people think that everyone wants to know everything that is going on in one's life. I don't think that anyone is more important then the next person and facebook has made some people think that. It has become a popularity contest rather then a forum to connect with old friends and family. Yes, I would like to know if a friend has recently gotten married or had a baby or maybe even a place they went for lunch and really enjoyed it but seriously....who cares if you are waiting on  hold for your doctor or who cares if you are glad to be back at work the day after you were at work. (Does that make sense) lol. See I am already getting stupid from all the stupidness that goes on, on facebook.

Even with my rant, I know many of you are probably thinking that I should just get off of facebook. But I know I won't so I will just have to suck it up with the BS or just delete the people who put up the BS! So for those of who you who think this post was just a bunch of rambling then feel free to press my "who cares" button!

Holy Hail

The past couple of days have been dreary, rainy days. We have had a few Thunderstorms, and for the first time yesterday I experienced my first hail storm.

We were leaving to go to my in laws house for dinner and as we were packing the kids up it started to sprinkle on us. We must have driven just a few miles when the clouds opened up and these monstrous rain drops started falling from the sky. No joke, they must have been at least half dollar size rain drops. They were hitting our car pretty hard. They started to get harder and harder which freaked me out and I asked Kevin what should I do. I don't like driving in rain let alone rain that sounds like it is going to break my windshield. We saw a few other cars pulled over on the side of the road so we decided to do the same. When we stopped we could see ice shattering on the windshield. It was HAIL! They were about grape size hail balls. It was coming down pretty good. It was the craziest sight I have seen. How could it be hailing when it was 68 degrees outside? It didn't last very long and we were back on the road. As we were driving down the street, we could see all the hail laying there on the ground. It covered the ground like a small layer of snow would. There was so much of it! it was a pretty neat sight.

This picture was taken by a friend from her yard. I was driving so I didn't get to take a picture.

To Make You Feel My Love

When I write, I write about things. I read a lot of blogs that write to people. They write mainly to their children in hopes that one day their children will read these blog posts and look back and remember the memories they had and know how much their parents/grandparents/loved ones loved them! I have yet to write to my children and tonight I have an urge to write to them and let them know just how much Mommy loves them.

My Dearest Kaden and Karsyn,

The moment that I found out I was pregnant with you (Kaden) my sweet baby boy I was over joyed with happiness. A little nervous, not going to lie. Your daddy and I were in the midst of planning our wedding which was not supposed to be happening so soon, but because mommy had already purchased my size 0 wedding dress we had to push it up a bit. I truly enjoyed being pregnant with you. I had a pretty mild and non-eventful pregnancy. I remember the day we went in to find our the gender of our little peanut. In all honesty and please don't hate me for this, but I thought for sure you were going to be a girl. We had the sweetest ultrasound technician. She took her time with us and showed us all your bones and organs and made sure that you were healthy and growing as you should. She waited until the last little bit of the appointment to point out the gender. I was beginning to think you were not showing yourself to us. She did not know how much I was wanting a girl. She looked at the screen and with a big smile on her face she says to us "see that right there?" Of course we didn't know what anything looked like so we were oblivious to what she was pointing out. Your Mimi and Memaw were in the room with Daddy and I. Daddy figured it out before any of us did. I just remember him smiling from ear to ear. Finally I screamed "It's a BOY!" and everyone hooted and hollered with us. My eyes filled up with tears, some because of just a pinch of disappointment but more so because it was a boy. I know that doesn't make since but I was just so happy that you were healthy and I already loved you so much. We chose the name Kaden Robert. We knew we wanted to stay with a K name. We searched the Internet and Kaden popped out at us. I already knew that Robert was going to be the middle name because it was a family name. Once we picked out your name things became so surreal at that point. You weren't just this little peanut growing inside of me. You were a person now. You already had meaning in my life. Any disappointment I had, had went away. I was completely blessed I was having a son. Your birth date came and passed and luckily it wasn't long after that, that I went into labor with you. After a long 22 hours of grueling labor and my blood pressure spiking and your heart rate dropping, we decided on a c-section. You were born at 3:46am on June 18th, 2009. A whopping 9lbs 6oz. From the moment you came out screaming I was head over heals in love with you. You were a perfect baby. You were so happy and easy going. You always had a smile on your face. The first year of your life was such a learning experience for your daddy and I. During that time, I learned that I was not cut out to be a working mom. I quit my job when you were about 5 months old. That has been the best decision daddy and I have ever made. We have had rough days but I have really enjoyed being a stay at home mom. I love teaching you and getting to see all the firsts and getting to be so involved in everything that you do. I know these times won't last long and I cherish that I get to be a part of them right now. You are now approaching your 4th birthday and as exciting it is to watch you grow it is also a little sad. You are growing so quickly and I wish I could stop time and keep you close to me for a little while longer.

Shortly after your first birthday baby boy, we found out we were expecting you (Karsyn) our sweet sweet princess. I was thrilled the moment I saw that positive sign on the pregnancy test. It took a couple of months to finally get that. I was so discouraged the first few months when we would see a negative. Getting pregnant with your big brother happened so quickly and we didn't think it would take too long to get pregnant again. We went to our family practitioner to get the pregnancy confirmed and get the referral to the OB. When we went in the test came back negative. I remember thinking how could this be. I took at least 5 tests and they all came back positive. The doctors decided to run a blood test. This blood test would consist of 2 blood samples. One test would be taken and then another would be taken 24 hours later. If my levels had doubled then that was a good sign. It would mean that the pregnancy was viable. In the meantime of waiting on the results I was able to go ahead a schedule the OB appointment. Because of the uncertainty of the pregnancy, instead of having a consultation first we went ahead and had an ultrasound. The ultrasound did show an egg so that was a good sign but the egg was not measuring to the gestational age it should have been. We were told that I could either have an ectopic pregnancy or I could be miscarrying. I remember the time it took waiting for those blood results seemed like an eternity. I remember crying thinking that this was my shot at having my little girl and it could end in a miscarriage. We finally got the results back and they had not doubled but TRIPLED. We were over the moon with these results. We went on to having a few extra ultrasounds just to make sure everything was progressing as it should. The first time hearing your heartbeat was such a relief. At around 15 weeks (which is still kind of early) we went to The Prenatal Experience and had a 3D/4D gender determination ultrasound. I could not wait until 18 weeks with our doctor to find out. I was already anxious as it was. We had all of our family there with us. It was such a neat experience. Even though there were a lot of people, it seemed to be really relaxing. The girl doing the ultrasound didn't waste any time telling us what the gender was. Immediately she typed out the word GIRL on the screen. I had such a hard time fighting back the tears. Of course these were happy tears. My pregnancy with you my sweet girl was not as easy as it was with your big brother. I went in to triage for dehydration and I had early cramping with you. At one point I thought I was going into pre-term labor. You held out though. We had a scheduled c-section planned at 39 weeks. You decided on your own that you wanted to be a day early. I had been into triage a few hours prior for contractions but they had stopped so we were sent home. I came back that night and within a few hours we were prepped and heading back to deliver our girl. You had some lungs on you. You however my dear were not as easy as Kaden. You had some pretty bad reflux that made you cry all the time. Once we finally got it diagnosed right you were a completely different baby.  Your were and still are my tiny little thing. I have been in such bliss every since the day that they put that little 6lb 7oz bundle of pink in my arms. You are now approaching your second birthday. Just as I am with your brother, I am excited to watch you grow but I wish there was a button to freeze time to keep you little forever.

Both of you, my babies, I love you ever so much. There are not enough words to describe how happy you both make me. I smile just saying your names. I pray that you both will grow up to be loving, caring people. Tears fill my eyes just thinking about you both. I hope you know just how much love and joy you have brought to my life. This quote reminds me so much of how I feel for you both.

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” Elizabeth Stone

This is so true for me. There are many nights I go into your rooms and just look at you and caress you and hold you in my arms. I sit there and admire how beautiful you both are. I pray over you and I think how lucky I am God has chosen you for me, and me for you. I will always love you both unconditionally for the rest of my life. I always want what is best for you and I will always try my best to be the best mother I can be for you both. You are my heart and soul and I love you so so much.

Love,
Your Mommy.

Twinkle Toes

Karsyn has been in her dance class for 6 months now. In the beginning she was shy and a bit timid. I think I must have held her most of the class for her first few weeks. After 6 months I am impressed at how far she has come. The girls learn from the repetition of the dance moves, so every class we do the same thing that we did the week before. Karsyn knows every dance step. She does really well with some things and others she has a little bit of difficulty paying attention to the steps. I would have to say that her favorite thing to do is run across the floor. She is really good at walking on the bean bags. I am so proud of my little twinkle toes!

Back in November I believe, the studio did an observation week for the families to come watch the progress of the girls. She was just starting at that point to pick up on the moves and remembering them but for the most part all she wanted to do was play with everyone that was there to watch her. Today we had another observation week for the families to come see the progress. This will be the last observation until it is recital time in May. We had all 3 sets of grandparents as well as Daddy and big brother Kaden. Karsyn did GREAT. She paid attention to her teacher most of the class. She was in my eyes the star of the class. Not only did Karsyn do really well, Kaden did really well sitting there quietly while his little sister danced. I also want to add, this was the first time that Karsyn wore her hair in a bun. She will need a bun for her recital so we decided to test it out this morning. It turned out so small and so cute!

I have yet to upload the pictures so I will post them tomorrow!

The Hardest Job Ever

I have to say that being a parent/mother is THE hardest job ever! I am not saying this because kids can be huge balls of energy or because it costs a lot of money or because there are times I want to pull my hair out. I am saying this because there is not a day, minute, second that goes by that I do not worry about my children. Some might say I am a worry wart but with how the media is today and how everything is so publicized it is really hard not to worry. I don't doubt that bad things were happening back in the day, you just didn't hear about it as much as you do these days. Reporters are so quick to get stories out that some don't even wait for the right information. It seems like everyday there is something going on in the news and it is not someone saving a cat in a tree or finding the cure for cancer. It typically has something to do with someone missing, a school massacre, something involving guns, break ins, bank robberies, etc. It is always negative. It is hard to put that in the back of your mind when raising children. For me, I worry about their protection ALL the time. I don't want to say that all of that stops us from living our lives and staying in doors all day long but, I do think about what could happen when we are out. I am always cautious and I continuously look over my shoulder. In my previous post Home school I talk about the possibility of home schooling our kids. We have come to the decision that we will not be going this route and will be putting our kids into the public school system come Kindergarten. I am choosing this option even with a heavy heart and not knowing yet if this is the best option for our kids. I doubt myself with both options. My main reasoning for homeschooling is due to the fact that I am terrified I am going to get that call one day or even worse see it happening on the news that my child's school has just been put on lock down due to a sick individual who has come there with a gun. What if I sent my child to school that day and that was the last day I was ever going to see them. I would be devastated. I then worry that with homeschooling they will be missing out on something, that something I cannot put my finger on it but there is something that is holding me back from this option. I don't know if I am scared that they won't get the social aspect of it or the fact that Elementary school was so much fun for me and I want them to have that experience. I just don't want to make the wrong decision. That is probably the hardest part about this job. The decision making is crucial!

I think that the best thing a parent can do to lesson the worry is to have faith. Have faith in Jesus. Faith that Jesus has a plan. I pray every night that I get to have one more day with my kids. I pray that they will be safe in his arms at night while they sleep and during the day while they are learning to live in this hateful dirty world. I don't obviously ever want this to happen but I do believe that if something does happen to anyone of us then it was our time to go. I just never want it to happen.

Becoming a mother has undoubtedly been the best thing that has EVER happened to me. My kids have been an absolute joy and blessing in my life. I wake every morning so happy to see their smiling faces. If I could hug them and kiss them all day long I would. I enjoy getting to experience things with them. I love seeing the light in their eyes and seeing how innocent life is at that age. I just wish the rest of the world was like this. If I had the chance to do this 100x over I totally would. Like I said in the beginning of this post, the huge balls of energy that my kids are, the temper tantrums that they may throw, the financial hardships that come with having kids, etc...all of that is easy peasy. The sickening worry feeling that I have in my gut everyday, that is the hard part. Wondering if they are going to be okay as soon as they are out of my sight, that is hard part. Making the best decisions that will lead to happiness, success, health, safety, etc....that is the hard part.

Valentine's Day

I know I am a few days behind on this but I wanted to share some photos from Valentine's Day. Our day didn't turn out exactly how we had planned but I still had some cute little love bugs to spend the day with.

Kaden's school hosts a "grandbuddies" day on Valentine's Day every year. It is for the grandparents of the kids to come and have breakfast and spend the morning with the children. They get to have their picture taken with Nicole Myhre Photography. She does the students photos and class photos and does an exceptional job at getting them all to smile. I would recommend her if you have little tots! Unfortunately this year we missed grandbuddies day. We forgot what time it started and for some reason though it was at 9am instead of 8:15am. I was a little bummed that Kaden did not get to have breakfast with all 3 sets of grandparents. He did get to enjoy his class party however. His class Valentine that we made was a Kool Aid "squeeze" juice and some Hershey kisses. Kaden really enjoyed his class party. He got lots of goodies and Valentine's from all his special friends. I picked him up from school that afternoon and saw his teacher carrying him out. I thought it was odd that he was being carried and I immediately knew something was wrong. She brought him up to me and told me that he was falling asleep during circle/reading time and she had to catch him from falling out of his chair. If any of you know my child, this is NOT like him. He would never fall asleep because he is too afraid he is going to miss something. As soon as I had him in my arms he started to cry and he told me his ear hurt. Typically when he says his ear hurts, he has an ear infection no doubt about it. Since we missed having breakfast with the grandparents we made plans to have lunch instead. That got canceled and instead we spent our lunch time at Urgent Care. He indeed did have an ear infection. A mild one, but still an ear infection. He was running a temp of 102.1 and was feeling pretty miserable. I took him home and both kids zonked out for at least 2 hours. He woke up feeling a little better so we made some Valentine's for Daddy and each grandparent. I made a heart out of a toilet paper roll and let the kids have fun stamping with some paint and the toilet paper roll. Karsyn really enjoyed this craft. Then we made some hand and footprint cards. Kaden even wrote a note all by himself for his Daddy. When Kevin got home he couldn't wait to show him. Other then the fact that Kaden was not feeling all that great, we did get to enjoy our Valentine's Day. I especially enjoyed all the cuddles I got from my sick one!

Karsyn stamping hearts for Daddy

She might have a career in this :)

Kaden working hard on his note to Daddy

He is so proud of his work

He did a GREAT job.

Love these little hands

The kids Valentine's loot

I got to spend the morning with this little cutie!

Her Daddy says her kisses are not for sale!

My poor pitiful guy!

Karsyn was worried about her Bubba

Finally getting some much needed rest!

A squeeze and a kiss from Kaden.


















Piggy Piggy

A few days ago we took Karsyn to her follow up weight check appointment. A little while back we took her to one of her wellness visits and her weight was not even on the charts. Now she comes from a line of petite women so for her to be petite is not out of the ordinary. At 18 months old she was weighing between 19-20lbs. At that point her pediatrician decided we should run some blood tests to rule out the possibility of a thyroid problem and few others. We went and had Karsyn's blood drawn for the tests, which was such an awful experience. She cried the whole time. I remember one of the technicians asking the other if they got enough and she said, "yeah, that's enough". Well she was wrong. A week later I get a call from the doctor saying that we needed to go back to get a little more blood drawn because they were not able to complete one of the tests. Karsyn remembered the place from before, she immediately started crying as soon as we were walking back to the room. We ended up having the same lady as before. I made sure this time that they got enough. Then we waited for the results. After about a week we got the good news that everything came back normal. Her doctor seems to think that she is just going to be a tiny little girl. She gave us some tips on what to feed her to possibly get her weight up. Lots of carbs, protein, fats, etc. We have been giving her two pedisures a day. We were called back in a month later to check her weight and see if she has gained any. We just had her follow up and I am proud to say that, within a month Karsyn has gained 14oz. Her doctor was very pleased with this. She told us to keep doing what we are doing and hopefully we can get her back on track. She is officially back on the charts. We go back in another month to check her weight again and if she is still gaining then we will be good to go, if not then we will see a specialist. 

reading at the doctors office

playing her ipod on the floor

My cutie!

Off Day

Do you ever have those days where everything seems to annoy you? (even your kids?) Is that bad to say?! Today is one of those days for me. I think it has to do with the fact that I got little to NO sleep last night. I had anxiety all night about going to the dentist this morning. I HATE going to the dentist. Plus I had to be across town at my dentist appointment by 7:30AM. I don't even know what that time of the morning looks like. I am not a morning person. I have a feeling that is what has put me in a mood today and for some reason I just can't kick it. I am unmotivated to do anything. I don't feel like folding the laundry that needs to be folded and I don't feel like cooking. My kids have been pushing my buttons today also. Kaden just will not listen to me. When I get stern with him, he makes me feel bad by saying "Mommy when your mean to me, it hurts my feelings" Who can be frustrated by a response like that? I hardly ever say this but I am ready for tomorrow to get here. A new day, a new attitude (hopefully).

Fits Like A Glove

We are entering Karsyn into a local beauty pageant this March. If you have ever watched that show Toddlers and Tiaras, this is nothing like that kind of beauty pageant. I did this same one as a child and I got "runner up". Karsyn is obviously much younger then I was when I did my pageant but I am hoping to maybe stick with them throughout the years. This pageant is not one of those glitz pageants where the little girls wear these extremely fancy dresses that cost as much as our mortgage. The attire is more of your Sunday best. The girls are not required to wear make up or have spray tans and fake nails. I actually think they deduct points for children who are too made up.

My dad is sponsoring Karsyn in her pageant. He will pay for her entry fees and he also has offered to purchase her dress and shoes. Today we went to find the perfect dress for her. I wanted some elegant and tasteful but also affordable. I found a really pretty lilac dress online but with shipping it was going to cost around $77. That was a bit much for me to have my daddy spend on a dress that she will probably only wear a handful of times. I was browsing through Target the other night and came upon a really pretty turquoise dress. It was plain and simple with a little bit of fluff and a sash with a bow. The really nice part about the dress is, it was only $20. I called my dad immediately to tell him I found her dress. We decided to go early the next morning to buy it. First I wanted to make sure that I wasn't rushing into the first affordable dress, so we went to Dillard's. I found NOTHING! Back to Target we went and bought the dress. Funny thing, Karsyn tried on an 18 month dress and it fit her like a glove. I wanted to make sure she had enough room to grow (doubtful that she will) so we tried on the 24 month dress just to compare. She is 21 months old right now and she fits nicely into the 18 month dress. My sweet petite little thing! On our way to check out, I found some cute little white shoes to complete the look. Now I just need to find a pretty hair accessory and some white ruffle socks and win us a trophy and a tiara!

I promise I will not become one of those crazy obsessed pageant moms!

My beautiful beauty queen!

There Is A Bug I Want To Smash

The stomach bug that is!

A lot of my friends had the ever too popular stomach bug a few weeks ago. I kept up with their updates on facebook and as much sympathy as I had for them, I couldn't help but think "Thank God our family has stayed away from that!" I must have spoke too soon! Sunday night I made pork chops and everyone ate them. I felt fine all evening up until around 10:30 that night. Kevin and I were laying in bed watching a little bit of TV and my stomach started cramping. I thought maybe it was just gas or maybe I needed to use the restroom. I did none of the above but, I ended up falling asleep in spite of the cramping at that point. It wasn't until about 5:15am that I woke up because the cramping was so bad. I sat up and I felt like I was going to throw up or pass out or possibly do both at the same time. I told Kevin how I felt so he sat up and rubbed my back for me. I am not sure if I had a fever at the time but I got the chills really bad. I was FREEZING and I could not stop shaking. I thought maybe if I got into a hot shower I would feel better. I don't know if anyone else is like me but, hot showers make everything feel better. I still was freezing even under the hot water. After I finished my shower I barely have finished drying myself when I had to rush to the toilet to throw up. My stomach felt somewhat better after doing that but I still felt really weak and queasy. Kevin took off work that day so he could watch the kids for me so I could spend the day in bed resting. It wasn't until Tuesday night that I started feeling better. Tuesday night Kevin and Kaden both got sick and threw up. Kevin got the chills just like me. Kaden ended up having a fever all day Wednesday and Thursday. They both stayed in bed ALL day Wednesday. I have never seen Kaden sit that still in all of his 3 1/2 years of life. He literally stayed in bed from 3:30am (which is when he got sick) until Thursday morning when he moved from the bed to the couch. Thursday afternoon he found a little bit of energy and was able to play in his room for a little while. I spent those two days cleaning our house and disinfecting EVERYTHING. I washed all the sheets and blankets and pillowcases. I steam cleaned the floors. I bleached the bathrooms. I washed all the dishes in HOT water (even the clean ones that had been sitting out on the counter). I thought that since Kevin had gone back to work Thursday feeling about 85% better and since Kaden seemed like he was feeling better that evening and was acting semi normal, that maybe the bug was starting to rid itself of our house. I was wrong! Today is Friday and at about 5:30 this morning Karsyn woke up throwing up. She threw up once and since then has had no other symptoms or vomiting. Hopefully that will be the first and the last time that she gets sick.

I now know what my friends were dealing with when they had this crap! I guess this is my karma for thinking that I was glad we didn't have it!